When it comes to your health, have you tried diets and workouts in an effort to make big change only to look back six months (ok maybe one month) later and realize…NOTHING has changed?
Sometimes the reasons are obvious. You got a gym membership, went once and took advantage of the one-hour free training session. You went a second time while your motivation was still high then realized you couldn’t remember anything the trainer showed you. In a near panic, you ran home (not literally of course) all the while promising yourself you’d start with the workout DVD that’s been sitting on the shelf collecting dust, then as soon as you felt slightly more in-shape, coordinated, and gym worthy, you’d try working out in public again. As the weeks slipped into the distance you just came to realize that you’re not “gym people” and back to your old routine you go. No surprises here.
If habits don’t change results don’t change.
This is true for every area of our lives. When you think about it, our struggle to be healthy usually isn’t one sided or an isolated incident. If I’m an on again off again dieter and failing to ever reach my weight loss goals, it’s likely that this habit of inconsistency is being displayed in some other area of my life whether its finances, lack of organization, unhealthy relationships, anger, anxiety and FEAR in more than one area.
Fear can drive you to a crossroad of indecision. Fear can stop you from your goals. Fear can wreck you…IF you let it.
When I presented this idea of fear based decision making to one of my clients she said, “I never thought about my struggle being related to fear.” and she promised to spend some time in thought about how her fear was blocking her from progressing fully toward her healthy goals. The bigger picture is that when fear presents itself this way in our lives it is unquestionably impeding you in other areas as well.
There’s a saying that has made the rounds of social media and many people have taken it to heart, believed it and shared it probably millions of times. It says, “If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.” That’s a feel good statement. Even I read it and I’m like, “yah man. That’s deep. Facebook it. Instagram it. Tweet & Retweet. Guilty as charged. The problem is, if I don’t know WHY I keep giving up then I can’t just stop it. The people who have just stopped giving up are looking at the rest of us idiots who keep starting over thinking… I don’t know what your problem is. So they share that quote again, without naming names and hoping the quitters see it. The quitters do see it, and even like it, and still don’t know WHY they consistently give up so they keep on quitting.
I know for sure that if you’re struggling to ever accomplish your goal it is because of fear.
I have heard many fear based reasons and I know you can add to this list:
- I’m afraid of doing this alone.
- I’m afraid of being weak.
- I’m afraid people will notice I’m eating weird.
- I’m afraid of being left out at parties, restaurants and special occasions.
- I’m afraid my friends won’t accept the new, healthy me.
- I’m afraid I will fail.
- I’m afraid I won’t get ALL the way to my goal and that will be as good as it gets.
- I’m afraid I’ll never get to eat my favorite food again. This will isolate me and I will feel empty.
- I’m afraid it will take too long and my commitment will not be enough to sustain me.
- I’m afraid of all the ways “being healthy” will change my life and make me different. I’m afraid of change.
If you are unable to define your fear you will be certain to fall short in your attempts to change your course.
It isn’t the diet, the health coach, the trainer or even your personal lack of discipline. FEAR brings every one of us to a crossroads every single day. When you learn to recognize it then control your response, you will be able to make a plan for permanent, healthy change in your life.
This is exactly why I have a brand new passion project called “I Quit Fear”. It has been the number one common thread in every conversation I’ve ever had with my clients, my friends my family…myself. We all identify with the statement, “I Quit Fear” in every area of our lives, not just as it relates to health and weight loss but realizing that it can truly stop us from being or doing 100% of every important quest in our lives. It is a call to action.